


vermilion

by penshy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Erythrophobia, Hemophobia, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 17:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6764131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penshy/pseuds/penshy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” — Rose Kennedy</p>
            </blockquote>





	vermilion

**Author's Note:**

> (Written for prompt #26) I was really hoping to have this complete, but the stupid flu took out a week of available writing time and totally messed everything up. I will continue on this, but for now have a /small/ snippet! I’m not done with you yet!

Red. He hates red. Junmyeon hates red. Junmyeon hates the color red.

Red is Sehun. Red is his housemate, his lover. Red is the color that decorated the walls, dripping down to seep deep into the seams of the floor.

Red is blood. Red is bad. Red is death.

Junmyeon hates the color red. Junmyeon hates red. He hates red. Blood red. Red.

\---

Junmyeon can't believe this—no, he can't believe himself. The bright LED display of his computer ate at his eyes and he rubbed them, hands sweaty and clammy from the thought of actually putting up a "Roommate: Wanted" notice on the newspaper. The idea wasn't very appreciated by Junmyeon himself, but he didn't want to lose his two best friends over something so inane. So he clicked the "submit" button and slammed down the top of his computer. For Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Yeah, for Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

_Roommate Wanted: 2 Bed 1 Bath apartment. We split rent. If you mind the fact that someone has died in this house I wouldn't suggest submitting a form._

"I can't believe the newspaper actually allowed this in, Junmyeon. You're a lucky man if someone actually considers this," Baekhyun lectured, hitting the other with a straw. Junmyeon ducked away, leaned closer to Kyungsoo and sipped his tea.

"At least he's being honest," said Kyungsoo, setting down _Choir Boy_ and shoving Junmyeon away with his hand. Baekhyun huffed loudly and slapped the table with his hand. Junmyeon could hear Baekhyun curl his fists into his sleeves. "Sometimes honesty doesn't win over protocol! I know we said you should get a housemate but you should really take this seriously, Junmyeon. We're just trying to help."

"I don't need help." Junmyeon said, and he left the cafe. The two who were left stared down at the cash Junmyeon had thrown down on the table. “At least he still cares.”

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo stood outside the cafe, more like loitered as Kyungsoo cracked open his book and Baekhyun scuffed the ground with his heel. "He's getting better," Kyungsoo said, picking at the page he was on. He wasn't exactly reading at that point, but it broke the awkward air around them as he busied himself. Meanwhile, Baekhyun seemed to be taking all of his pent up frustration on the cracked concrete. With his foot.

Baekhyun threw his head up in the air, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed heavily. "I know," he sighed. "It's just—it's been so long since I've seen him smile. I want him to heal."

But the both of them knew that with healing, there were scars.

\---

The bed sheets felt raw against his skin. They abused and broke through the walls and layers, stayed with him through the days where Junmyeon never left the bed. Today was one of those days, and he gripped the fabric in his sore palms, roughly massaging them between his fingers. His knuckles were white from the force.

The thought of Sehun never left his mind. In the two years that he has been left alone to mourn and suffer, the image of the blonde beauty has been forever engraved in his mind. Even though every hint of Sehun’s inhabitance had been removed long ago, he could still tell anyone exactly what Sehun looked like, how he acted. _Oh, he had a mole right there. His hair was always soft and healthy, I loved touching it._

People were bothered with how he was unbothered.

But he was.

All he could see on those white, emotionless walls, on the white, rough sheets, was the white, maniacal smile as the owner pulled the trigger. 

..

Murder.

\---

A series of knocks woke Junmyeon from his stupor and he started with a groan, scratching at his palms with little to no ounce of care. Just enough so he didn’t break the surface of his own skin, and he was okay.

_Knock knock._

Oh yeah.

Junmyeon swung his legs off the bed and stood with a wobble, arms reaching out to the nightstand for support. He hasn’t walked in two days.

Five minutes, many knocks later, Junmyeon made it to the door. He cracked the door open just a little and peered through, eyes bugging out. Even though the only people who actually visited him were Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, he had to be careful. Make sure there weren’t any guns or anything.

_Who is that? Not Baekhyun. Or Kyungsoo._

There stood a very impatient-looking young man—or at least that’s what Junmyeon thought the person was. Their appearance was quite confusing, with the masculine features and all. They were wearing a crop top and yoga pants, which almost gave Junmyeon a headache. They were a bright neon pink.

“Too close,” Junmyeon muttered, making to close the door, but the person threw out an arm to stop him. Junmyeon flinched back.

“Sorry, uh—” _Male._ “I didn’t mean to alarm you, or anything. I just saw your roommate thing online and I had submitted a form and you haven’t replied in a few days, so I just wanted to check and see if you still needed one or not.”

Junmyeon blanked for a moment. _I regret ever doing this,_ he thought, biting his lip. 

“Yeah,” he started, “Come in. I'll go get my laptop so I can check your application.”

He turned and left the doorway, leaving the other to make himself comfortable in such an odd home. There wasn't much, most of the house was white. White marble tables and counters, white leather couches. It didn't even look like there was a single speck of dust on the ground. Odd. 

“I forgot to ask your name,” Junmyeon said as he entered the living room, sitting opposite to where the other man sat. “I'm Kim Junmyeon.”

“Kim Jongdae,” the man said, reaching out a hand to shake Junmyeon’s. Junmyeon hesitated, then took Jongdae’s hand and shook it lightly. He yanked his hand back after a few seconds. 

“Sorry uh, I'm not much with physical contact.”

“It's okay.” Jongdae gave a sweet smile. 

Jongdae entertained himself by playing with the hem of his top, waiting in the silence as Junmyeon intently read over his form. 

“No driving tickets?”

“No.”

“No weapon license?”

“..No.”

“No criminal record?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Do you know how to use a gun?”

“I don't..”

“Okay. You can move in next week. I'll prepare your room until then.”

And Jongdae left, giving Junmyeon a nervous smile as he waved goodbye. Junmyeon had a headache. 

\---

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, Junmyeon decided, were terrible best friends. To force him to do something like this was, well, terrible.

"Two years," Kyungsoo had told him, giving him a gentle smile.

Two years was simply not enough time to move on. Two years would never make up for the lifetime he could've spent with Sehun. Two years was just a decimal, the smallest fragment of forever coping. Moving on was impossible.

But here he was, preparing the house to suit two people again. He forgot what it felt like to feel the presence of another constantly near him, forgot the sound of the water of the shower thrumming on the floor as he laid on the bed and read, forgot the feeling of coming home to a welcoming embrace and smile.

He still cooked for two, still bought enough clothes for two. Jongdae probably wouldn't fit in the long clothes that he bought—not that he would let Jongdae ever touch them. Jongdae was still a stranger, a mystery, and Junmyeon was scared of him. For all he knew, the man could do something very, very bad to him.

So he prepared the house, cleaning every crevice of the kitchen and bathroom, washing the sheets of the untouched bed. He vacuumed the floor with precision. Since his lover's absence, cleaning has been something that relieves his stress. The only problem was the walls.

The blood simply wouldn't come off.


End file.
